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Going Dutch? In the age of equality, who pays for dinner?
What will I wear? Should I bring a gift? What if I say the wrong thing? One of the most significant factors in determining who gets assigned which roles from the dating script is money. And that makes complete sense given that, for most of us living on the margins, money is a difficult resource to come by. Consequently, who pays for the date and the contract that payment supposedly creates is usually rooted in assumptions about gender and sexuality that deserve a lot more scrutiny. It neglects, however, to acknowledge that same-gender relationships exist; that trans, agender, and gender nonbinary people exist and have dating lives; that asexual people exist and have dating lives; and that people tend to structure relationships in different ways based on their individual needs. Here are a few tips that we can all use to begin thinking critically about who pays for dinner. Did you, as a cis girl, like a boy in school, but waited in vain for him to ask you out, instead of taking initiative?
Skip navigation! In January, we began Money Diaries , a series that looks at how millennial women around the world spend their money. As we hoped, it inspired many conversations about salaries and spending habits.
There was a time when men would always pick up the tab for dinner, whether on a first date or indeed subsequent dates. But times have changed and these days equality is the name of the game so it should come as no surprise that Fred Siriex, general manager of Galvin at Windows in the London Hilton, believes the bill should be split between a couple. Singleton, Elaine Kavanagh agrees and says if a man ever asked her to pay for dinner or even to go halves, she would walk out of the restaurant.
To Split or Not to Split: Who Should Pay for Dinner on a Date?
Undressed is a column about gender, social norms, dating rules and what happens when we break them. Read the last Undressed here. When I started dating my very first boyfriend as a sophomore in high school, I was adamant that I pay for my own meals. This became such a point of contention that we eventually broke up over an otherwise enjoyable night of thai that he insisted on paying for.